Flow of Consciousness 1.0

So I read that some French Surrealists have created a great method for creating subversive, yet beautiful, art, by simply the first thing that comes to mind, by simply typing the first thing that comes to mind. I find this idea very interesting and a good way to explore one's self, to uncover what the logical mind buries below. I also intend to make these kinds of entries while I am at least slightly intoxicated, as I am in the present moment, as alcohol tends to impair judgment, allowing for freedom and creativity in expression instead of my typical monotonous rule of reason, as tends to be dominant in my mind, allowing for later discernment of underlying things I had no awareness of. Without further ado, a stream of consciousness entry:

I won't let this build up inside of me. She isn't real. Even if I wanter her to be, it wouldn't matter, for those I have a sort of platonic, semi-amorous love, even among males, abound, while those that may stir passions of the soul deeper than simple attraction, those to whom I would submit my constant stubbornness of disposition, those to whom I would risk vulnerability for freedom, remain few, if non existent. And those who I--perhaps--may find myself thinking about as I passing from conscious nightly, are the unattainable. My tarot reminds me that this is a time of penance for past sins, but what has my karmic sin been that I deserve a fate in which my passions must be suffocated for a superficial life when the soul yearns for something more? If only there were some other option between ignorant bliss, knowing paralysis of the senses, and frustrated desires! The worst part is looking into self and seeing the void of ego, the superficiality, the insignificance of that which is sought, intra- and externally, and the resulting depression of the blood that pumps through an inconsequential heart, in vain. Perhaps, to escape from this trap, the necessary is be the fool, forget the wise, do that which needs not doing and in so doing, create a needs to be fulfilled, if only individually, and perhaps through the luck that always seems to accompany these intuitions we call coincidence, create some beauty. Why, then, even when taking the risks, when reaching with emotional tentacles to reach someone precious, do we end up, with despair, when in times of arrogance we shrug off the open hearts of others? It seems in this manner that he dream of playing a C-chord, C G E C E G C with dominant and root 7th to lull our child to sleep, will never become reality, because love will always roam, wandering an endless abyss, while the unsolved heart stands alone.

Two girls, one disgusting waste of time.

Back in the day (read: a couple years ago), I had a friend with a very very gross sense of humor. We both had problems sleeping at night, so we would amuse ourselves by calling each other and browsing sites simultaneously, to see what weird and gross stuff we could find. Because of that I thought I had seen it all, that I had achieved a sort of Buddhist indifference to the obscene. Apparently not. Recently my flatmates had been making inside jokes about something called "Two girls, one cup," which, from what I could ascertain, was a gross internet video. I was horribly mistaken in that assumption; it's probably the grossest internet video I have ever seen. Another friend of mine just blogged about it, saying that she had filmed some of her buds watching it. So, in tribute to her and her sick and twisted pleasures, I present to you, my reaction to the video that is taking the internet video by storm, "Two girls, one cup."

In case you were wondering where this video is, or what's in it, don't. It's one of those creations, like the atom bomb or Frankenstein's monster, that just goes against nature and should be buried forever. I want that 60 seconds of my life back.

Triple Axle

So this Winter break, Rachel invited some of her friends from back in Tucson to Madrid, some of which have been staying at my house. Many, many awesome things have transpired as a result, one of which was John, Rachel, Chris, Maeve and I's trip to the free skating rink Madrid set up on account of it being Christmas and everything. Being the type who is always willing to try something new, I decided to test my skating legs. At first we couldn't go out, because they had to smooth out the ice again; since they didn't have Zambonis so they did it by hand using really wide plows like on the front of a dump truck.

Learning to skate consisted of a lot of little baby steps for me. Mainly those steps were very very awkward, as the majority of the time I did my best impressions of Thriller trying to keep my balance, much to everyone's amusement, myself included. Making things more difficult were the constantly falling children, who would sprawl out on the ice and flail their limbs around in an apparently intentional attempt to brings anyone around them down with them, turning the rink into a veritable obstacle course. Still, I managed to not crush any of them, though I did end up grabbing this one dude's girlfriend when I as about to take a dive, for which I earned a dirty look from the boyfriend and shy smiles from her (it was evident she hadn't skated before either).

My roommate John and I have what can best be termed a love-hate relationship, and unbeknown to me, he played Hockey for about six years. So when I went out there with no skating experience, he was waiting pretty much the whole time, like a shark that smells blood in the water, to see if I would bruise my ass or ego. I managed to do the first, with some hilarious spills reminiscent of the Flinstones run or that Russian kicking dance, but by he end of the day I was getting more aggressive, and really didn't want to leave, despite the occasional flurry of skate-by snowballings John and Chris decided to hurl at me. I got my revenge, though, returning fire in slow motion when they weren't paying attention.

The day definitely made me appreciate hockey more, in which people manage to shoot pieces of rubber into nets while gliding along at high speeds while trying not to get brutally clobbered by other mischievous ice-devils.

Below is a video of me skating for the first time. You can't really tell, but I definitely felt more confident on the ice by the end of the day. I really want to go back and try it again!